The Life and Times of Tomek Jankowski |
The Public Record.
To begin with, I'd like to point out that most of what public sources have to say about me is utterly, completely, categorically and laughably false. I've never committed any of those -- well, most of those crimes -- and even if I had, there has got to be some sort of statute of limitations. It's time to take my picture down from the post offices, people. I mean, it's downright embarrassing how tenacious local shop owners are about keeping my mugshots posted in their stores near the cash registers. And I think we can all agree that mall security is getting a little over-zealous nowadays. I mean come one, people; it's time we all moved on, right? | |
Tomek's mentor: |
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Learning how to live from the Master.
My lifestyle is largely framed around how my cat lives. Years ago I realized that she was living the high life, while I slaved away for little or no gain. Clearly, she was doing something right, so I began to study the subtleties of her approach to life, and behold! I discovered The Path: eat, sleep, and occasionally use the restroom. Repeat as needed. The Path has guided me through some of the most stressful and chaotic periods of my life. It works particularly well if you can convince someone else to put you up and pay your bills, but failing that -- and I have miserably so far -- just apply the lessons of The Path as often as possible. Your boss at work will surely understand. I mean, look at the picture: that's one productive kitty. | |
A Better Day? |
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Never underestimate the potential of the future! Unless you're dead, of course.
I suppose that sooner or later I will have to get serious about my background but for now, you're pretty much just getting filler. For a teaser, I'll mention that I was born in the Great Lakes region of the Rust Belt and grew up buried in books, great friends, some great fishing spots, and lots of toxic industrial soot. Good pizza, too. The latter phenomenon (the toxic soot, not the pizza) led to me living and studying in Europe for some years, and after coming back to the U.S. -- actually, for a while I kind of bounced back-and-forth -- but when I eventually settled back in the U.S., I ended up living all over the Northeast until finally settling in my beloved New Hampshire. Somewhere along the line, after a particularly raucous drunken binge, I was shocked to discover myself (upon re-achieving consciousness) working in Corporate America. Still trying to work that one out. | | |
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